Thursday, November 18, 2004 

The Private Investigator



This is funny but I think I may actually be back here by popular demand! :-) I have actually had a few people email me and leave comments trying to figure out where the heck I am. Maybe they are just trying to figure out if I am still alive out here! Well, here I am...alive and well and doing fine. For the first time since the gall bladder surgery I slept on my stomach last night and I did fine. I woke up sort of sore but not too sore. Also, I have been able to get out and get some yard work done and that sure has made Megan happier!

I actually feel like I am getting back to normal slowly now. I just have to get my butt out of this house once in a while and have a life. I seem to have fallen into a slump. I have become addicted to Magnum P.I. and The Rockford Files and that can't be a good thing! Maybe I should use my time to become a private investigator but I am just not sure. I am pretty short and I may look pretty goofy in a trench coat and I have never once worn a feather in my cap! I do have the power however to annoy the heck out of people and ask too many questions so I have have some things going for me.

The photo on this post is of Grace at my house surfing the web on my laptop. She was actually on the web site for the movie, The Incredibles. She was using the mouse to "color" images on the site. Times sure have changed. I used to use crayons when I was a kid and I never imagined being able to use the internet in my home without wires to look up just about any information possible. In my opinion there is too much information in the world anymore. I wish that there was more mystery in the world and that people actually had to go places and experience things to learn what they want to know. Maybe parents like me should not allow their kiddos to access the web but at the same time, it is good for them to learn things.

So back to basics here... I am doing alright, my sense of humor is as goofy as ever, my sense of adventure is alive and well and my mind is wondering around in circles like always. I still have days when the pain kicks my butt and I still get emotional once in a while thinking about my circumstances but altogether I am still ok. Pain medicine helps and positive thinking helps but the best medicine that I can find is still within the hearts and minds of my two little angels. They are silly, goofy and clumsy and you know what...I want to be more like them. I want to run and slide and climb and I want to get all messy whenever the mood strikes me. I want to be able to see a jungle in a field of clover and I want to relax and not have to worry about my future all the damn time.

I hope that all of you reading this are happy and doing well. The holidays are fast approaching and I hope that you all have wonderful plans with friends and relatives. The holidays will be rough for me this year because money is practically non-existant but I won't let that get me down. I know that people understand my circumstances and I appreciate that. I will do what I can to make my girls smile this year and that will make my holidays very happy.

Again I promise to keep up with this site and I apologize for not letting people know how I am doing. Sometimes I get news that makes me sad and it is hard for me to post that. The last time I posted I believe that I said that I was going to get the results of my last liver biopsy. I got those results and they hurt me deeply. For some reason, I really had my hopes up that all this was just a terrible mistake but I was mistaken. My liver is not much worse but it is worse and the disease is still active. I guess I just try to keep it out of my mind. I have my girls this weekend and I am sure that they can keep me busy enough to keep my mind only on them.

Thank you all again for the kind words and support! It sure helps! Posted by Hello

Thursday, November 04, 2004 

The Drama Patient



I have got to be the slowest blog updater in the world! These are my girls at Halloween. Their mother was decent enough to allow Megan and I to have them for a couple of hours and we enjoyed it very much. They were so cute! Grace was Cinderella and Lauren was a trauma patient. The best part of the whole night was when Grace was trying to explain to Megan that Lauren was a "drama patient!" She is so cute!

As for other issues, I am not feeling well at all right now. I hardly slept last night and I feel really strange. I probably should see a doctor soon but I am sure tired of doing that. I guess I need to do what is best for me though.

In regard to medical care, today is a scary day for me. I have to pick up the results of my last liver biopsy today. Remember, based on current laws my broken down liver has to last at least four more years in order for me to get on a transplant list. Over a year ago I was told that it may last only two or three years. So I am worried and like I said, I am scared.

I have my girls, all three of them to think about here and they need me here. The little girls need a man that they can call Daddy and Megan needs a good friend and partner. I know the role that I am supposed to play in their lives but for some reason it feels like God has other plans for me. I will do what I can to get through this. I'm sure that I will be ok.

Also, my Aunt Kathy was diagnosed with cancer and that breaks my heart. I have never been very close to her but I really hurt for her now. Nobody should have to deal with that evil disease. Nobody should have to live everyday in fear. My case of cancer luckily was treatable and I pray that it won't come back. Please say a prayer for my aunt.

One more thing, an old friend called me yesterday to let me know that he has become a father. So Ben Tillery, good luck and congrats! There is nothing in the world more beautiful and exciting than a little face depending on you for love and care. I swear that my little girls provide more help to me than any medicine and doctor can. Ben, you will be a great father. I would love to meet your son.

I will try to update soon and maybe I will have good news about my liver. Please take care for the time being and smile and love as much as possible. Posted by Hello

About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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