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Thursday, November 18, 2004 

The Private Investigator



This is funny but I think I may actually be back here by popular demand! :-) I have actually had a few people email me and leave comments trying to figure out where the heck I am. Maybe they are just trying to figure out if I am still alive out here! Well, here I am...alive and well and doing fine. For the first time since the gall bladder surgery I slept on my stomach last night and I did fine. I woke up sort of sore but not too sore. Also, I have been able to get out and get some yard work done and that sure has made Megan happier!

I actually feel like I am getting back to normal slowly now. I just have to get my butt out of this house once in a while and have a life. I seem to have fallen into a slump. I have become addicted to Magnum P.I. and The Rockford Files and that can't be a good thing! Maybe I should use my time to become a private investigator but I am just not sure. I am pretty short and I may look pretty goofy in a trench coat and I have never once worn a feather in my cap! I do have the power however to annoy the heck out of people and ask too many questions so I have have some things going for me.

The photo on this post is of Grace at my house surfing the web on my laptop. She was actually on the web site for the movie, The Incredibles. She was using the mouse to "color" images on the site. Times sure have changed. I used to use crayons when I was a kid and I never imagined being able to use the internet in my home without wires to look up just about any information possible. In my opinion there is too much information in the world anymore. I wish that there was more mystery in the world and that people actually had to go places and experience things to learn what they want to know. Maybe parents like me should not allow their kiddos to access the web but at the same time, it is good for them to learn things.

So back to basics here... I am doing alright, my sense of humor is as goofy as ever, my sense of adventure is alive and well and my mind is wondering around in circles like always. I still have days when the pain kicks my butt and I still get emotional once in a while thinking about my circumstances but altogether I am still ok. Pain medicine helps and positive thinking helps but the best medicine that I can find is still within the hearts and minds of my two little angels. They are silly, goofy and clumsy and you know what...I want to be more like them. I want to run and slide and climb and I want to get all messy whenever the mood strikes me. I want to be able to see a jungle in a field of clover and I want to relax and not have to worry about my future all the damn time.

I hope that all of you reading this are happy and doing well. The holidays are fast approaching and I hope that you all have wonderful plans with friends and relatives. The holidays will be rough for me this year because money is practically non-existant but I won't let that get me down. I know that people understand my circumstances and I appreciate that. I will do what I can to make my girls smile this year and that will make my holidays very happy.

Again I promise to keep up with this site and I apologize for not letting people know how I am doing. Sometimes I get news that makes me sad and it is hard for me to post that. The last time I posted I believe that I said that I was going to get the results of my last liver biopsy. I got those results and they hurt me deeply. For some reason, I really had my hopes up that all this was just a terrible mistake but I was mistaken. My liver is not much worse but it is worse and the disease is still active. I guess I just try to keep it out of my mind. I have my girls this weekend and I am sure that they can keep me busy enough to keep my mind only on them.

Thank you all again for the kind words and support! It sure helps! Posted by Hello

hi Ruben! i was just thinking about you actually when i checked my e-mail, and got a message from you saying that you'd posted. i'm really glad you are feeling better. and i really love the way you put "smile today" at the end of your e-mails. unfailingly, i always smile after reading that, no matter how creppy i feel... heh, creepy huh? the way people you don't even know can actually care about you and think about how you are doing. *smiles*
smile today, ruben. :) so many people care about you. i just wanted you to know that, although i think you probably already do, there's no hurt in repeating it. *smiles again*
Your stranger-friend,
cara stardusst

Ruben... Hello!!! :o)

I have lurked silently - just over here... and I just wanted to mention once again, that I really like how you look at the world. Thank you!

(You are bang-on about the wires becoming a leash... not that you said it THAT way, but the meaning is the same to me. I think I need to break my tether...)

Peace,
D;o)nna

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About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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