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Thursday, March 10, 2005 

The Flu Beast

I am off to the doctor again today. This time I am fighting some sort of evil cold/flu beast that seems to think that my body is a rather comfortable place to live. My head is pounding, my sinuses are all stuffed up and I get very dizzy whenever I stand up. I have to be very careful when I have issues like this. A cold or flu used to just go away over time but anymore it takes a super-strong antibiotic to make the symptoms go away. I have to be careful with my immune system. It is so weak now that a cold or flu that is bad enough could actually really hurt me.

I was talking to my friend Jim last night and he seemed surprised in a way about how easy it is for me to joke about all my illnesses. I think that if I took it all too seriously it would drive me mad. When I was first diagnosed I was very depressed. I have no desire to be that way again. I told him that I could not imagine dying from an unattended cold or flu. I explained to him that I would rather die trying to jump the Grand Canyon on my mountain bike or breaking up a gang fight. It would be a bummer for my gravestone to read, "Here lies Ruben Porras...victim of the common cold."

I want to die with honor like a samurai soldier. I would like to go out in a blaze of glory. Maybe I should be more considerate of Jim's feelings though. He has become one of the best friends that I have ever had and if he was told that he had a terminal disease it would totally crush me. Jim comes around more than ever before and that is very special to me. He has a gorgeous wife and the prettiest baby in the world and I hope that he knows how much it means to me that he shares a part of himself with me.

I will post what happens at the doctor today. I am sure that I will be fine but I still worry. It is beautiful here today and I hope that it is nice wherever you happen to be reading this. Take care today and have fun doing whatever you are planning to do. Remember...no matter how stressful life gets that there is someone that loves you somewhere and that is what matters.Posted by Hello

hi Book Buddy! i can always keep tabs on your physical progress by visiting your blog so, definitely keep me updated on your reading. i expect a full book report on "Tuesdays with Morrie" as soon as you're finished! *smile*

i know you're planning on reading it, so i'm excited to know what you think. you remind me of Morrie in so many ways, and there's always something special about being able to relate to a character.

i've read hundreds of books! but, i'm sure there's some that you've read that i haven't yet... let me know. and vice versa. i've got lots of recommendations.


by the way, i hope your doctor visit went well.. *cross fingers*.. i've got a check up coming up on tuesday of next week and i'm a little aprrehensive.

and question: where do you get your nifty black and white pictures? i like, i like.

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About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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