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Sunday, April 17, 2005 

Sand Heart

It is Sunday at 4:30 and I just took a handful of pills. Don't call an ambulance...it's ok. I mean, I did not consume Valium with Jack Daniels (never really liked the stuff) or anything like that. I just took the pills that I forgot to take this morning that are supposed to help all my guts function in the correct way. I take about 20 pills a day for this purpose but I often wonder if they really help. I bet they do somehow, but how?

Anyway, the picture above is interesting to me. When I was little I probably made a heart in the sand at some point...we all probably do this at some point. But as children everything is literal. As children a heart in the sand is well...a heart in the sand.

But as adults we look deeper. For instance when I see the heart in the sand now I wish that I could see it again as a little boy. Instead I see a symbol of love that can be wiped away, washed over with tide-like emotions and easily soiled. Maybe I am too dark and negative anymore. Maybe I am too jaded.

But onto happier things now...I just bought a shiny new book because I promised Dyllan that I would keep up with my reading and the sun is shining on a beautiful day. If I listen closely I may even hear a bird or two singing but I never listen that closely so I probably won't. Maybe I should listen closely. I will see what I can do.

Also...in the spirit of The Spud King, a blogger tried and true,click here for an amazing song that will really make you think about hearts and bushes and love and stuff like that. Smile today. It can only get better from here.

Very touching post...nice blog you have going, yes, writing can be very thearputic. I wish you the best in your health.

I don't think the symbol of love is washed away. I think it sinks in deep and becomes part of all the sand forever. That's probably why we love the sand so much. All those precious hearts, and messages and castles all sank in and melted togehter creating a fantastic sensation that we are reminded of when we stick our toes deep into it.

Nothing is ever lost, especially love.

yes, i am still alive =) just extremely busy with the opening of our hotel this thursday..

anyways, this post reminds me of when i went to Venice Beach and saw the Pacific Ocean for the first time. it's quite a miracle. i sat down and just stared at the water.. and yes, i played with the sand. i don't exactly know what it is about the whole moment that made me cherish each passing second, but it was surreal. the sand, itself, is amazing. i always wonder how it stays afloat when millions of tides batter it every day..

Ruben, you're like the sand, you know.. with every aching ailment that batters you every, single day, you always seem to stay afloat..

and, like the ocean, you're definitely one of God's proudest miracles =)

miss you.

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About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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