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Friday, July 01, 2005 

The Tooth

Ok...so I am at the local corner store today buying an energy drink because I am on a mission to mow the front lawn irregardless of the billion dregree temperature that is baking our little city and I see this woman get out of her car. Now...I live in a decent neighborhood. It's not like Neverland Ranch or anything super groovy like that but the people here are usually nice and fairly decent.

So, the woman getting out her car looks at me and smiles and I notice that she has maybe one tooth. Her skirt is all torn up and it is clear that she has had I don't know...70 or 80 kids and she has never once bought one of them new fangled contraptions that some women refer to simply as a bra. To be brutally honest here she looks like an accident victim and it must have been one hell of an accident.

As I am about to enter the store the woman calls out to me and says, "Hey boy do you like what you see? I am available for parties!" I have no snappy comeback but I cannot help to think just about what kind of party this sexy passion goddess may be available for.

Maybe I could invite her over for a Tupperware party or one of those cheesy candle parties. Maybe she could be "Bucky the cracked out clown" at the next childrens party that I have to go to. So anyway, the lady enters the store and you will never guess what she buys. Ok...if you said cigarettes, beer and lottery tickets...you win! Ok, so that was an easy guess.

What is it with people like this that have to be so obvious about the things that they do. It would have been one thing if she would have walked in and bought a newspaper or a Slurpee or something but I just knew from looking at her that she would buy exactly what she bought. I don't mean to judge a book by it's cover here or anything like that but this was just an odd situation that got me thinking.

If you want to book this braless, toothless sex goddess for your next party let me know and I will see if I can get you a discount. This could easily be the girl of your dreams. You know that there is some guy out there in the world looking for someone just like this to love forever. Hell, if someone would be nuts enough to love me...this crazy ass lady really has a great chance!

Smile today...no matter how many teeth you have!!!

Yikes. Poor woman. It is so sad to see how some people allow themselves to deteriorate so far.

This reminds me a little bit of the show "intervention" on A&E. Have you seen it? Some of these situations are so terrible and sad.

What is even sadder is that there IS some guy out there - many, in fact - who would LOVE to take this toothless sex goddess home for their next big par-tay. *shivers*

--Side Note--

I've already emailed you, but your readers need to know what a FABULOUS, WONDERFUL man you are for sending my Janie a birthday gift certificate. Tell Megan that she has found THE most wonderful guy!

I LOVE RUBEN!

I found you through Ginger. I don't know what else to say, but wow. Keep up the great writing.

OK. I'm deeply disturbed by this. She's giving the rest of us cracked out clowns a bad name.

When I go to the store without a bra, I do the ol' "cross your arms under your breasts and push them up" routine. And I only buy cigarettes and Diet Coke with Lime. honest.

Plus, I have really, really, pretty teeth. And I have all of them. Well, except for the two that were pulled when I got braces. And then those pesky four wisdom teeth....

great post, rubes. you had me laughin'

Hey Ruben.. If you can send me the stuff you want for your site, I'll get started on it. Did you decide if you wanted to move to MT or stay on Blogger?

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About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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