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Monday, August 01, 2005 

Little Swimmers

There is just something about the freedom and beauty of youth. I took these photos at a birthday party on Saturday for a nephew of ours. California this summer is about as hot as hell but children never seem to see that. It's the adults that complain about the heat. Maybe we should just lose our inhibitions and take the plunge like these little guys.

Besides just swimming that would probably be a very good way to approach life in general. Maybe I am trying to live that way a little with deciding to move forward with my marriage despite my health concerns. I don't ever want people to say that I never took enough chances. I don't want to be accused of missing out on life.

I have had a very hard weekend in regard to my health. I have been feeling pretty rough over the last couple of weeks but I think that it may be catching up with me. I thought I was getting better but feeling better seems to come in short spurts. I probably should have visited a doctor days ago but I have been avoiding that. I just get so depressed whenever I visit clinics and hospitals because they remind me that I am pretty damn sick.

Either way, I'm going to make the call now. I need to just ask for help and move forward as best I can. If I have to see the doctor today maybe it won't be so bad. It just hurts so much when they poke at my liver side looking for swelling and things. I will deal with it and let you all know what is happening. I just want to feel better. I don't care anymore what has to get me to that point. I am sick of hurting everyday.

One more thing...I have received some great photos for Flickr Friday and I can't wait to get them all posted. Hopefully I will be able to do it tomorrow. I'm sorry that this post is so depressing. I will cheer up soon! I promise! :-) I hope that everyone out there is safe and healthy. Smile today!

Go to the Doctor and while they are poking at you tell them dirty jokes. You will feel better but you MUST take care of yourself.

Marry Megan tomorrow if you can just continue to see the future and the brightness that it holds for you.


Definitely see a doctor. Hope you feel better soon. Take care.


Reuben, I hope you take care...here are good thoughts sent your way!!

I am happy to hear you will be making that visit to the doctor. I'm sorry it hurts and I can understand how you wouldn't want to go, be poked and prodded and then told depressing news. But if there is a chance they can help you to feel better, it's worth it. We all want to see you healthy and happy and pain free. As always, I will continue to send my prayers for you every day. You take your time posting the pictures. Your first priority needs to be YOU! I am sending you healing vibes and I hope they make it to you! Here's a few hugs and kisses too. (xoxooxoxoxoxoxo)

feel better!!!!!!!! so glad you're calling the doctor

Feel better Ruben!

I really do hope you feel better soon!

Me to Rueben,
I'll start putting in a word with the big guy upstairs, maybe if we all start doing that , he will realized that we all need you right here, right now. Feel better soon.
Love and Hugs EXSENO

You are the MAN! You are so strong, yet physically sick, and you STILL post pics of beauty, life, and youth. You are an inspiration to us all! I only wish I could be as positive about things as you seem to be. You kick some sick butt mister and get the help you need. I'll be praying for you and wishing you well....so many hugs but none that would hurt you. Never be sorry for stating the truth on your OWN blog....good luck to you.....may good health come your way and soon!! Would it help if I flashed for you? JK...sorry to your beautiful girlfriend....that was a JOKE! ;) best wishes.

I didn't get to send any pics for flickr friday but maybe next time. I had to work all weekend. Blech. I can't wait to see what you got though!

I too am excited to see what pics you got! I hope things go well at the doctors. Just remember, there is a lot in life that we have little control of, but our thoughts are one of them. Come up with a plan for your thoughts at the docs, as far as how to handle them to get through that without depression. I know that you get on here and give us the sunshine, but I also know that there have to be lots of long dark nights. If you ever need a shoulder in the wee hours, you can call me....I am nocturnal by nature.
I went through a really bad scare last spring with Cancer to the point where I quit my job to spend time with my granson. I think that it is fine now and was just a scare (although I have a diagnosis in writing-it was wrong) I can't be upset about it as I am so glad they were wrong, but for four months it was all I could do to sleep and when I did sleep I would wake after a few hours with thoughts tumbling through my head. I know the nights are hard. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. HUGE HUGS from the cornfields.

Hope the doc visit went well. It sucks to go, but if you will feel better ya gotta do it. I don't think posts like this are depressing. I think they are honest. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows.

Feel better, Dude. Sending you healing vibes. :)

those pictures are beautiful, Ruben. I hope you feel better soon. I'll be thinking of you and sending you good thoughts.

Sometimes it's really hard for me to remember that you are sick since you are such a strong positive and uplifting force to all those around you, physically or internet-ially. As always, I'm hoping for the best withthe doctors, poke them back somewhere it hurts... I have a few suggestions for you... ooh and maybe you should take along a cattle prod?!? Now that could make the whole experience a lot more fun :o)

I hope everything goes well for you with the doctor. I am truly sorry that you are in pain. Try messing with the doctor; ask him if you two can cuddle before he pokes you.

I look forward to see the pictures from flikr friday.

LOL @ cattle prod...what a GREAT idea!

Whenever I go to a hospital, whether I'm sick or not, I get those feelings you talked about....just because of the ridiculous amount of time I've spent with loved ones who were there.

Fortunately, I have been blessed with good health (so far), and your daily inspiration has helped me not take this for granted. Thank you for that. And thanks for reminding us to "take the plunge" when it comes to life. I surely don't have to tell YOU that we only get one go-around :) Let us know how it goes with the checkup...and if the doc pokes too hard, do a Three Stooges and poke him in the eye! LOL

Bless your heart, Ruben. I hate that you feel bad, and I wish that there was something all of us could do! You know we'd make you 100% better if good thoughts and wishes were medicine. Get some rest, and I'll keep smiling for you.

*HUGS* I am so sorry for the mental and physical pain you go through. People often live their lives with no purpose, but you impact the lives of so many each and every day. Through your pain, you're living more life than most people. We're pulling for you! :)

Ruben, I'm glad you're calling the Doctor. Hoping here that you can feel better and I'm also looking forward to the pictures but don't wear yourself out.

It's so unfair that some wicked people can go on for YEARS without one single health issue and the good people in the world like you have to be sick. I'm glad you're calling the doctor. The worst thing to do is wait until you feel like you can't get out of bed. Good luck.

Hey man, stopped by your site after you left a comment on mine the other day. I'm sorry you aren't doing well and I know the feeling of not wanting to ask for help with certain things, but really needing to just suck up your pride and ask for it. I'm happy to hear you are getting things taken care of though. Hang out with those kids as much as you can, they will do wonders in terms of lifting your sprits and easing your mind and body - trust me. Not to sound corny, but sometimes I think a child's laughter is the best medicine. Good luck! :)

hmm it didnt post before - I hope everything is ok Ruben and I just got a new camera so I hope to join your Flickr Fridays soon enough!! Rock on Buddy

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About me

  • I'm Ruben
  • From Modesto, California, United States
  • This space could be a million lines long but I will try to make a long story short. In April of 2003 I was diagnosed with a rare terminal liver disease and treated for Hodgkin's Lymphoma in my neck. Because of the combination of diseases and amount of liver damage, doctors estimate that I have between 2 and 5 years to live. Hence the name of this site, "Each Day Counts." If I cannot win this battle I will fight, love and travel until the very end!
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